Company in Solitary
by Electric Jester
Summary: One creepy guards plan turns into a meeting in solitary of Gotham's rouges favorite couple. Takes place in Arkham and rating refers to refrences. no smut.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters or the song, just a strong love of them

Company in Solitary

He hated them. Everyone in Arkham was either annoyingly optimistic, _we'll have you back to normal in no time, all it'll take is one more shot, one more therapy session ._Yeah right.Or they were just plain grouchy. He wasn't even going to go into the perverted guards. And now he was going into solitary. Again. Even Split thought the prank he pulled was funny. But not the Warden, the humorless imbecile.

"Room 6713, solitary for a month, clown." Joker just glared at the guard. He stared back and went to unlock the door. It swung open, though. The guard took in stride and pulled Joker towards the door. "Behave Freak." Joker rolled his eyes.

"Like you telling me what to do is _really_, going to affect any decision I make." The guard ignored him and pushed him into the cell and closed and locked the door. Joker stood there for a moment when a voice from the corner spoke incredulously;

"Puddin?"

_3 Hours Earlier_

"How does a freak like the Clown get a dame like you?" The Guard spoke while pushing her down the corridor. Harley ignored him and dragged her feet. Since when was PDA, a public crime? Seriously, all she did was stomp on one guard's foot to run over and give Mistah J a ten second hug. That was all. And the Warden had gone and acted like she had pulled a gun and started plugging people. He was strict Warden, but an idiot. Albeit a smart idiot. Not as bad as Lock-Up though. She smiled and waved at him as she went by his cell. She heard him jump up and start ranting about how society was creator of the_ true _criminals. How they were weak because they couldn't kill people like her. Yeah right. She chuckled. They didn't kill people like _her_, because they didn't want people like _Puddin_, come in after _fools_ like them. Plain and simple.

"Seriously, what he do, mind control?" Harley rolled her eyes.

"That's Riddles Dolt." He glared at her.

"Watch your mouth Lady." Harley laughed.

"Or what, you'll threaten me? See how nicely Mistah J takes that."

"You think that clown cares bout a girl like you? He probably doesn't even know you're here!"

"Willin' to stake your life on that Bub?"

Apparently, he wasn't because he shut up. Another Guard came around the corner and strove purposefully toward them. Harley groaned, "Oh come on, why do I get stuck with Perv guy?" The Guard leered at her and turned to the one who was behind her.

'I'm supposed to take this convict to Solitary Room 6713." The other Guard shrugged, to him no work, was good work.

"Sure Dave, getting tired of babysitting the clown Hoe."

Dave took Harls arm, but she shook him off when they rounded the corner.

"I can walk for myself thanks."

"But I have to walk you so..." he put his hand in the small of her back.

She glared at him, "Creep." He winked at her and brought her to her cell.

"I'll leave the door unlocked incase I can come back to here later."

She stuck her tongue and he closed the door. Until it was opened again in 3 hours so the Clown Prince of Crime could serve his time (Fate?).

"Puddin?"

Joker turned, Harls was in the corner looking bewildered.

"Puddin!" she exclaimed in glee and jumped up and hugged him. Needless to say Joker was very confused.

"What," he looked down at Harley, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm in Solitary." He rolled his eyes.

"Brilliant Harls, but why are you in _this_ cell?" She opened her mouth, but he held up his hand. "Besides the fact you're in trouble." She pondered it, when a bewildered look came over her face.

"Uh Puddin

"What?"

"Umm, well there's this guard, a really creepy guard and..."

"Clip notes version Pooh."

"He keeps hitting on me, and he said he was gonna come back later. I though he was foolin, but…" She trailed off.

"That's probably why the door was unlocked and why he didn't tell anyone you were in this cell." He finished.

"Are you mad?"

"I don't despise you so much I can't stay in a _cell_ with you Harls."

"No, because of the guard guy."

"Yeah, he's gonna die, but..."

Harley hugged him. He looked at her strangely.

"You Okay Punkin?"

"Yeah, I'm happy, I missed you." He sat down leaning on the wall.

She sat down next to him and put her head on his shoulder.

"You bored?" Joker asked. She shook her head

"You?" He shrugged.

"I'm usually thinking over plans, thinking how to get out, how to kill certain guards, what do you do?"

She slipped onto his lap

"I scream, groan, laugh, moan." She smiled seductively. He put his arms around her, and whispered in her ear.

"What do you do?"

"Scream, moan, groan, and laugh." He raised his eyebrows.

"What was that last one?" She looked confused.

"Lau-"He started tickling her. She laughed loudly and kicked around. He stopped leaving her gasping for breath. He chuckled softly. She giggled back and yawned.

"I'm tired Puddin."

"Then go to sleep." She beamed up at him.

"I can sleep like this?" Joker looked around the cell.

"There's not really room to sleep anywhere else." She smiled and snuggled up into him

"Night Puddin."

"Night Harls."

_The rumors aren't true are they Harls? Because that hug in the lunchroom, it felt like goodbye. You wouldn't go sane, would you Pooh? Cause I'm not finished yet. I'm not ready for our Mad Love to end. Not yet._

He looked at her slumbering form. _ No she wasn't going, not acting like that. _He smiled and laughed. _She was still his Harlequin._

Joan leaned down across Dr. Arkham desk.

"We were having a breakthrough. Punishing her for an accident involving him, is backtracking. We need to get her out of the cell and into a session. Explain how he always gets her into trouble. How its better for _him _if she goes sane."

Dr. Arkham nodded,

"You can go with a guard to get her."

Joan nodded and walked off with Dave.

She reached the door and Dave fumbled with the keys,

"Why are you taking Joker out Miss?" Joan looked at him,

"No, Harleen, Harleen Quinzel." The guard checked his roster.

"Strange, their both down as being in cell 6713, must be a glitch."

Joan had a strange feeling in her stomach,_ no, someone would've noticed, it can't possibly…._

"Unlock the door." The guard quickly did as he was told. Joan quickly turned on the lights and took a sharp intake of breath. Of all the things she had thought of, she hadn't expected to see Harley asleep on Joker while he held her. It was almost … sweet. _What was she thinking! A mass murderer holding the poor girl he'd driven insane was not sweet! _

Joker looked up at her in the bright light. He tapped Harley lightly on the shoulder and murmured in her ear in a sing-song voice,

"Har-ley, get u-p." She opened her eyes,

"Yeah Puddin?" He smiled,

"Your psycho here for you."

"But I don't want to go-o." He laughed and whispered something in her ear. She beamed at him.

"Promise!" He nodded. She smiled and hugged him.

"Thanks Puddin!" she hopped up and walked out the door. She turned and looked at the guard who was gaping at her.

"What are you staring at?"

Joker chuckled. Joan stared at him, and he shrugged.

"Your mess-up, not mine."

She followed after Harley, but stopped when she heard the guard talk.

"Wish_ I _could've got in on what happened in here."

Joker tensed and stood. The guard didn't realize and kept rambling,

"I mean that's a _fine_ looking girl and-"Joan didn't have time to warn him when Joker grabbed the gun from his hip and shot him twice in the crotch. The guard crumpled. Joan lunged at the emergency alarm and pulled it. She turned and realized the gun was pointed at her.

_I'm going to die._ She realized. Then to her surprise Joker dropped the gun.

"W-What." Joker smiled at her.

"Promised Harls I wouldn't." He sunk to the floor next to the guard who moaned.

Joker grinned at him.

"Sucks to be you, doesn't it?"

"Aren't you going to run!" Joan had to ask. Joker shook his head.

"Promised Harley I'd take her next time."

Joan's eyes widened. She heard footsteps around the corner.

Joker just sat and hummed. The guards came around the corner. Three of the biggest ones grabbed Joker. When he was dragged by her she heard him mummer a verse.

"This could be our sick love song, sick love song…" he was pulled around the corner.

Joan found herself agreeing with him.

_Yes, it could be. _


End file.
